I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Drunk is not a location!
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize