There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
