that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize