everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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