I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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