butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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