What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
