It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
