this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
My underwear smells like fireworks.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Randomize
