Quick, to the slutcave!
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
