you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
