I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
