Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
