Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
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