she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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