I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
