Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
