i think i have herpe
just one?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
