yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My ass is underappreciated
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
