I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
