Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
