For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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