Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize