Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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