I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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