there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
