I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
