im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
