does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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