so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
