Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
