I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
