I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
