Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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