I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
