You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
You can't special order awesome
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just forgot I was standing up.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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