If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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