I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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