Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I want to be your penis for a week.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
