so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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