god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Randomize
