im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
