Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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