Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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