Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Randomize
