Fine. I'll sleep in my office
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
