My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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