My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize