So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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