she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
COCAINE IS GR8
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
