So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
