I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Randomize
