just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
