so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
