mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Yo dont text me then not text me
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
