he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
