Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
