just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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