I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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