DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Alive.
So much puke
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
